my weakness

All along, I knew where my weaknesses are. Either I chose not to do anything about it or i did not stand firm on my solutions. So, when it happens again, I realised, "Oops I Did It Again".

Firstly, I found that i cant relate a message nor describe an event well. And, it can be a simple message. Sometimes, I do not even understand what am I talking about till i re-adjust my thoughts and say it out again for the 2nd time. And its really a PROBLEM! Moreover, I'm serving a British boss now. Imagine: I am telling him something that I don't even know what im trying to relate and he must be saying in his heart, "Oh F, what's the hell is she talking about?" hahaha (pardon me for that v language) Can you imagine that scenario?? haha And i strongly believed anyone have experienced the same thing as i do..right? haha To solve this problem of mine, I keep telling myself to THINK BEFORE I SPEAK! But till now, i still cant adopt this solution! ARGHHHH!

Secondly, I am taking things too seriously which build up the stress in me gradually. For home's affairs, my 3 sistas confided with me and its my responsibility to share their problems. But when i cant solve, i STRESS OUT and lose my sleep. On the other hand, when my advice turned a deaf ear, I would lose my temper at my sistas. I think, in regards to advising my sistas, maybe its wise for me to have this attitude that I have did my part and if they do not heed my advice, let them learn their own lessons. And, this also means that I should stop clearing their shitty problems and let them solve it on their own. Hmm...This method might trigger them to think before they act and stop bringing troubles to me. HUMFF! Otherwise, they will never learn.

At work, I cared alot on my boss and colleagues opinions on my performance, especially my boss. Am I being paranoid? Or i'm expecting too much from myself? Well, i should learn to be positive though. But, its really hard for me to attain that positive attitude as I felt that the thinking of the Boss and the Subordinate is always opposite and different. Dum it! STRESS!

In relationship, sigh! Its a never-ending stories of insecureness.

Haizya! Boring!