Emotionally wounded. Mentally strained.

That's how i feel at this moment of my life.

Been thinking of him, wondering how's he doing now, how's he coping with his work, parents, life, how's his health.....alot of thoughts about him running in my mind. Despite all that, i'd still struggle to think for myself selfishly. Isn't this supposed to be the way the game work?

Close friends have been sharing advices with me, supporting me and spending their time with me. They told me I should really think for myself....for my own life..telling me i can do it. Its really not easy, to think and act for my own life. Why cannot? Simple reason, there's love. I've been struggling hard for the past weeks. It's really difficult.

Think, think, think and think. At work, out with friends, clubbing, dinners cant divert my thoughts away. I teared in train, in office, anytime anywhere. Can one imagine how heart broken i am to behave like this? When Im back home, totally broke down. Everyday. Its my effective way to relieve stress and hurt. I would stand up, take a deep breath and told myself I would be strong.

When i piece up the 'puzzle', i see too much pessimism. Things might turn out positive. But, I don't wish to be hopeful. Whatever the outcome is, I know the pain is temporary. And I will move on, to be a better and happier lynn.