Am having mixed feelings...felt blank, nostalgic, pessimistic, tired....indescribable....:(
I was on mc today for my usual monthly pain. Staying home was about surfing net, watching tv, sleeping and now writing blog.
While I was watching the 7pm serial show, I started to feel kinda lost and insecure...just like what i mentioned, indescribable feeling! Then, I was thinking, my life seems so boring and dull with no interest, no aim, no goal to look forward to. My current life is about waking up at 7am for work, going home at 6pm, and when friday comes, back to my mcp's square room. Am i living a boring life? felt so lousy.
Perhaps I should work on some interest, eg, beautifying my blog, reading motivating and enriching books, learn a sport, taking up japanese language, more and more. At least, I have something to keep my life well occupied with fulfillment. Having such activity could also help cast my inferiority away and build up my confident. In one way or another, at least, I wouldn't felt losing out to those born with a silver spoon.
Its true for me that, whenever i felt down, i start to think of how bad my life was, comparing to those well to do peers. I always envy others of how beautiful their life was. There are so many 'if only' in my mind. By feeling so, it would only make my life more miserable, i knew. But somehow, i just can't help feeling that way. My mcp and sista told me there's no need to envy others, you are who you are! Like what they say, i ought to be proud of myself and work towards what I want and live with my own fate. Stop envy others and feel sad for myself! Happiness wouldn't fall on my hand naturally, so I have to create my own happiness.
I hate the feeling of being lonely and lost, my mind would start to linger away....for good and for bad thoughts, for sweet and bitter memories, for happiness and sadness.....
lynne, its time to do something about it.
I was on mc today for my usual monthly pain. Staying home was about surfing net, watching tv, sleeping and now writing blog.
While I was watching the 7pm serial show, I started to feel kinda lost and insecure...just like what i mentioned, indescribable feeling! Then, I was thinking, my life seems so boring and dull with no interest, no aim, no goal to look forward to. My current life is about waking up at 7am for work, going home at 6pm, and when friday comes, back to my mcp's square room. Am i living a boring life? felt so lousy.
Perhaps I should work on some interest, eg, beautifying my blog, reading motivating and enriching books, learn a sport, taking up japanese language, more and more. At least, I have something to keep my life well occupied with fulfillment. Having such activity could also help cast my inferiority away and build up my confident. In one way or another, at least, I wouldn't felt losing out to those born with a silver spoon.
Its true for me that, whenever i felt down, i start to think of how bad my life was, comparing to those well to do peers. I always envy others of how beautiful their life was. There are so many 'if only' in my mind. By feeling so, it would only make my life more miserable, i knew. But somehow, i just can't help feeling that way. My mcp and sista told me there's no need to envy others, you are who you are! Like what they say, i ought to be proud of myself and work towards what I want and live with my own fate. Stop envy others and feel sad for myself! Happiness wouldn't fall on my hand naturally, so I have to create my own happiness.
I hate the feeling of being lonely and lost, my mind would start to linger away....for good and for bad thoughts, for sweet and bitter memories, for happiness and sadness.....
lynne, its time to do something about it.
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